Rantings of a Lunatic

Over the last several months, there have been some drastic changes in my life. About 2 months ago, Kelly and I decided to split up, and about a month ago I got my own apartment. This is a dramatic change on its own accord, and it has provided me the opportunity to re-evaluate my life, and its direction. I am trying earnestly to be more honest to myself and the people around me. I think part of this is that I am not really interested in telling people what they want to hear, I am more interested in telling people what is true. In looking back, I feel like I have been the person that I thought people wanted me to be for a long time, and looking forward, I am not really interested in that.
While Kelly and I lived together, I specifically watched my point of view on several topics change, and to some degree polarize. I know most of this is due to my values changing based on the situation I was in. I spent a lot of time thinking about how to protect and take care of us as a humans, and probably not enough time thinking of us as a couple. Now that I am single again, obviously, I am reverting back to a method of taking care of myself as an individual. The little nuances are the things that I am noticing about it. Such as cooking dinner. I used to think it was difficult cooking for two people. Its not hard, but the portion seems wierd. However, I find I am still cooking in that same portion, and now I am eating leftovers more often. This is not a bad thing, its just a point where I need to add more food storage containers to my grocery list. And, I also recently realized how much I rely upon a spice rack for cooking. I was making some fish recently, and realized all I had to season it with were salt and pepper. This has mostly been remedied, but the spice rack will continue to grow in the future, a little at a time.
A scale was something that I kept putting off picking up, and now that I am furnishing my own apartment again, its one of the things that made it up higher on the list. The first scale that I got was broken when I took it out of the package, so when I took it back I spent a little extra, and got one that claimed to be able to read body fat and body water content levels. I am not sure that its one hundred percent accurate, but, its an interesting feature, and it has helped me to get motivated to start running. I have never been a runner, and for a long time I have probably mocked runners and health nuts, but its a way for me to change my outlook, and so far I am enjoying it. I am only starting now, but, my goal is to be running a 5k in a few weeks. I am not going to go register for any runs, I am really only doing it so that I can lose some weight. I would not consider myself overweight, at least not in comparison with the American public, but I am definately a little soft and round around the middle. And I have a deep fear of ending up the size of my father, so as I start to stare 30 in the face, now is the time that I need to start actively taking an interest in my health. I feel like I probably should have done so several years ago, but I don’t think dwelling on the past is a healthy way to head into the future.
Another area of my life that I am trying to take the opportunity to change is my social skills. I have traditionally been a very solitary person, and when Kelly and I were together, I saw that we as a couple became that way too. Part of this was the addiction to WoW that we both had, but it also just became part of our routine. And I am consciously making an effort not to fall into that sort of hidden solitary life again. I have been trying to spend time with the people I know, and though it is very uncomfortable for me, I am trying to extend myself to the point where I can make new friends. Part of this is that I am not an outgoing person, and part is that I have spent the major parts of my life on opposite sides of the country, so the friends that I had as a child have disappeared, and the friends I had from college are not in this area. Now, there are obviously exceptions to both of those statements, but that is the normal outlook.